You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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