Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
