dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
