I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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