i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
