There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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