also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
