He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
