ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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