Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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