I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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