how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
