a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
