She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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