I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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