Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
