it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
