Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
