if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
