Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
