There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
