So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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