Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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