That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
