I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
