Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
