I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
