i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
