So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
is that a dick in a sweater?
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