i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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