yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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