He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
