I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
