make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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