from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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