i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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