So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
