My sheets look like a crime scene.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
