Plan B is the new Plan A
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
