i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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