Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
