Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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