Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize