I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
