i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize