i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
