well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
