OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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