So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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Life without a bra equals bliss.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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