someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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