just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"