i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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