i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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