Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
