he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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