id be glad to
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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