I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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