Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
