Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
