You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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