no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
