i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
