i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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